Twenty Eleven

2011 is coming to an end. it has been a partially blissful year, full of sweet & bitter memories, easy & hard time.   these are some moment that design my life path throughout the year.

Early 2011 started pretty well where i propose someone to be my gf and she accepted it ;p

we love, we fight, we love ;-)

followed by best Valentine present ever, a niece :-)

da uda, nk dukung? lol

tapi langit tidak selalunya cerah hmmm. next, an incident that has a real  big impact of my life. it was the day i failed proceed year. god knows how i feel like, it takes a long time to get it over with and i have to admit it still hurts nowadays. but we all learn from mistakes. just let bygone be bygone. we cant change history, and essentially, we dont want to repeat the same mistake, do we? 

April-May     i decided to occupy my 2 months holiday doing part time job. i make new friends at jonker walk kopitiam. the experienced i gained here was priceless. i miss working very much.

zul( the chef), zuls' gf, budak baru, ain(super friendly)

June-present --->  i resume hectic life as a 3rd year medical student, again. i had a big advantage coz ive been thru it before. but we never know for sure what may happen, so i've just realized to be more serious and do not take things for granted. 

September- my 1st bro got married to his other half, kak fiza ;p 

welcome to our family, 'mak tam' lol

December. my lovely grandmother from my father side passed away. may she rest in peace, InsyaAllah.

funeral stick us together. how ironic? 

 well these various event sums up how 2011 went by. thanks for the memories and im gonna miss u a lot 2011! 

BMI- PRE OBESE. WHAT TO DO??

this is real me. no editting. T___T

It has been a long time since the last time i wrote here. The whole week I’ve been occupied with a lot of assignment, ward round, presentation, meeting, surgery, clinic etc note: if u know me well, u know that I simply made it up coz most of the time I was busy meddling with other people business lol


So everyone know what is BMI or body mass index. If u don’t, please google it up, I wont waste my precious time explaining what it is, how to calculate it, or how to interpret. It is like a basic simple thing, like u know how to wash clothes using washing machine, or how to boil water using your friend’s heater. Ok ok it is not related at all lol I am indeed a good person so I’ll tell u.


According to WHO, BMI is a simple index of weight-for-height that is commonly used to classify underweight, overweight and obesity in adults. It is defined as the weight in kilograms divided by the square of the height in metres (kg/m2).


For example, an adult who weighs 70kg and whose height is 1.75m will have a BMI of 22.9. BMI = 70 kg / (1.75 m2) = 70 / 3.06 = 22.9

Classification	BMI(kg/m2)
	Principal cut-off points	Additional cut-off points
Underweight	<18.50	<18.50
Severe thinness	<16.00	<16.00
Moderate thinness	16.00 - 16.99	16.00 - 16.99
Mild thinness	17.00 - 18.49	17.00 - 18.49
Normal range	18.50 - 24.99	18.50 - 22.99
		23.00 - 24.99
Overweight	≥25.00	≥25.00
Pre-obese	25.00 - 29.99	25.00 - 27.49
		27.50 - 29.99
Obese	≥30.00	≥30.00
Obese class I	30.00 - 34.99	30.00 - 32.49
		32.50 - 34.99
Obese class II	35.00 - 39.99	35.00 - 37.49
		37.50 - 39.99
Obese class III	≥40.00	≥40.00

Source: Adapted from WHO, 1995, WHO, 2000 and WHO 2004.

Some of you might notice the info seems familiar. Damn right I just copy paste it from WHO page lol


So with the height of 182 cm and weight of 90 kg, my BMI is 27.2 which is under pre-obese group!! i almost fainted to show the people around me how shocked I am, but apparently nobody is looking or even care, so I shut the idea off. I decided to run quickly to my dormitory, lock my room, and hid under the blanket and turn the sentimental Korean song on. Whatever zzzz


A lot of things come across my mind. How am I going to consult my patient to reduce weight if I am an obese patient? My body will only be printed out in the fitness magazine as pre-model before using the product. All my fat friends who I like to tease back then will regain their self esteem after see me lol Argghhh this is not happening!!


One fine afternoon, precisely just after a bad dream of been eaten by an alligator, I came out with an idea. It’s like an intensive program to lose weight. I call it as 1-month 5-kg program. It may sounds absurd, but I know I can do it. It’s a 3 months program and it really demand high commitment plus tough mental and fit exterior. It is divided into exercise and diet routine.

Exercise routine


1)Sit up- 500 times daily
2)Push up- 250 times daily
3)Jogging- 3 km (2 round of tasik permaisuri daily)
4)Futsal(optional) - 1 hour
5)Basketball(optional) - 1 hour
6)gym training- 2 times a week
7)optional games- swimming,badminton

 Diet routine


1) do not skip meal. eat 3 times per day. breakfast, lunch and dinner.
2) control porsion of rice. Make sure it’s not bigger than the size of my fist.
3) eat less fried,oily foods like burger, nuggets, fast food especially.
4) stop drinks sweet and carbonated water. consume a lot of plain water.
5) avoid taking foods after dinner. Coz less activity at night, it will turn and stored as fat.


I was thinking fasting will also be a great idea, coz you will gain pahala, you will reduce weight and u will save money. 3 in 1 haha but when we are fasting, our sugar level will be lowered, so we becoming more weak. Thus, I will not have energy to do the exercise routine. If I force my body to go out and jogging for instance, the body will give signal to the protein to be the primary source of energy. More protein will be degraded over time and as a result I will lost muscle in me, and that is not a good thing.


I think I have said enough. I just want to make sure that I’ll walk the talk. Anything is possible in this world as long as we do it seriously. Set the mind first, and the body will follow. I hope I can become healthier me after this 3 month program.

Bye2 fats, 6 packs here i come!

this is me in 3 months lol

My nightmare

I always had a bad dream. That a gigantic tsunami-like wave splashing and wipe off the whole city, the volcano bursted out the lava, thousands of asteroids hitting on the earth surface, aggressively  destroyed the eco-friendly landscape where i live at. Sounds like a typical disaster u can see when watching movie 2012, but im not making story up. It happens in my dream, like seriously. Believe me! i swear! Cross heart!  Someone please trust me T__T

im telling the truth, damn it!

The end of the world. That’s the best prediction i can think of. Maybe i am capable of seeing things coming, like a psychic. yeahh right. I dont even believe in Nostradamus ‘the prophecies’, or the Mayan tribe predictions. Or worse not even have faith for some ridiculuos shaman who occasionally charged great cash but mysteriously, never become rich. Totally weird. but i do believe the version of the judgement day, as stated in the Al-Quran ;)

this is exactly what im saying :D

Back to the title, the nightmare. People use to say when u’re too afraid of something it’ll come to ur dream. Similarly, if you think about something too much, especially right before u got asleep, it’ll accompany you, slumbered the night away. Unfortunately, this is never the situation, like who will ever paranoid themselves up about doomsday, unless they are the movie producer or sell books regarding the end of the day ;p

burppp. ok this is beyond my imagination ;p

Thought of the judgement day already scared me. It had happened at least twice, as i recall. The first time was when i watched movie 2012, it’s like a wake up call for me, that the earth is no longer a safe place to live at (as if there are other places i can move to ;p). It was ok after a week or two, i’ve convinced myself up that everything is gonna be fine. Or i really hope so.

all the nightmare, thanks to u~

The next incident occured when i was riding back to KL at the PLUS highway when suddenly the cloud turns dark and rising up instantaneously. It was 11am but my surroundings was so dark, as if i travel at dusk. It occurred so fast and freaking scary with the lightning and bolts strikes alternately . i can tell a storm is coming. I was the only road user at the moment that triggers the thought of facing the doomsday alone lol and then it rains heavily. Lucky me, im still alive. Thank god.

 Just for the info, when u’re on bike, rain could be ur worst enemy. I’ve been forced to take five inferior the flyover while cursing at the other vehicles that passes by, and hoping the rain stop. It was a different situation in James Morrison ‘please dont stop the rain’ but unluckily the bikers are normally a bunch of boring old men grrr this can also be considered a nightmare ;p

i hate u rain~

i hate u more lol

Enough with doomsday. now proceed to the other dream.

The ability to control my own dream is something i desire. it is undoubtedly do-able, as evidenced by some research i’ve read somewhere  during preclinical years lol however, most of the dream is terrifying enough that i couldnt control it. which turns outà zombies racing/bet with each other to kill me, barbarian  try to cut my head off using chain saw,  prisoners shoot my body  using shotgun/machine gun or even  my biological brother had punched me several times. It’s my dream and im the loser?  Damn it.

freeze, or i'll shoot u, Mohd Faizul. grrr

Ever heard of wet dream? ;p Warning:  the next paragraph may contain inappropiate sexual material, those readers 12 and below please skip it ;)

A wet dream. This is the best part of the dream. It’s like making love with whoever u can imagine of, whatever position u comfort at, wherever places u dream in, without using protection 0_o plus  it’s not considered a sin at all ;p I bet every guys out there have at least experienced it once in ur life time. If u haven’t, then i advice u to go jump out of the 10 storey  building or go to the nearest zoo, find and feed the hungry  tigers raw meat  with ur bare hand. Yeahh u totally deserve it haha

go dream, or die fast~

Dream inside of a dream. it’s the ultimate level a dreamer can be. Have u guys watch movie Inception starred by Leonardo Da Vinci? initially some of u will nodded yes, then u will doubt, hesitate, not sure, confused, that’s it,  i cant think of any other words lol some of u will think i was referring to the wrong individual, yes you are correct, but not like im giving u prizes or speech of appreciation. I admire the people who just ignoring the name, whether they know the actor or not. Or even the movie.  well the point is, the entire paragraph has no point  ;D coz i never had this dream, and dont really care if i had it ;p if u interested u can listen to a song by Damasutra ;p

umpama mimpi dalam mimpi~

After each of horrible nightmare, i quickly type and googled it out to find the meaning. Well there are variety of opinions, according to different interpretors.  It is interesting to know that our dream might relate to our real life, majority of it but im having second thought that it may tell u the future , like u gonna get into trouble, or u will get great news.really?  I dont buy it huhu how about u?

  

moi famille

There is nothing more precious than a family. I have a very big family, there are 10 of us, consists of 6 girls and 4 boys. When people first heard about it they will be like ‘woww!’.  it’s ok. not a big deal  I got that facial expression all the time. So here let me introduce my beloved siblings ;)

sis- the prettiest

very tall, about the same height as me, maybe 1 inch shorter. Married and live in California, USA. She’s the oldest. She is my inspiration because she was the first in my family to go overseas. She loves to laugh loudly like a banshee as my grandma claimed hee she love fashion and wears fancy dress.

angah- the most discipline

the second older sister. She looks like a chinese a bit, her skin is the fairest among all of us. Height= 172 cm. She is a teacher and married. She has 3 children, and all of them are amazingly cute! She is very strict, punctual on time. she's not a person u want to mess up with coz when she’s angry she’s kinda scary hehe

alang- the most sporting

the third older sister. She is the most outgoing, friendly sister. Married and now live in JB. When a family gathering she will be the one who enlighten the house up. She’s very funny person but very emotional too. A very good cooker too. Love branded things. She’s also a good speaker and listener, she’s the best to refer to when i had a problem.

acik- the smartest

the 4th sister. Very tall, around 176 cm. She is the most brilliant in the family. She is currently a doctor and married. She lives in Cork, Ireland and had 2 superbbb cute daughters. She is very generous, when i had financial problem she will always there to support. she loves to giggle a lot, and has a soft high pitced voice where a lot of people find it adorable.

boy- the protector

the oldest brother. Just got married recently. tall, dark skinned, and very thin. Now live in JB. He’s the trouble maker at home hehe he’s very loyal but at the same time firm. He wouldn't takes no for an answer. He is the most hot-tempered and fierce-looking. he used to back me up when i involve in fight or get into trouble during old days.

ali- the joker

my second older brother. Tallest, 183 cm, im just 2 cm shorter ;p he is currently a teacher at Miri, Sarawak. He is very funny, that people like to befriends with him. He is very talented in sports, and a bit romeo ;) He love to talk with older people about politics, common issues- my youngest bro and me always make fun of him being a minister someday ;) He is very hardworking at house, my mom love when he’s at home coz he’ll do anything my mom ask unlike me =D

me- the naughtiest


hmm about me? well i dont know how to define myself. but i am pretty sure u guys know me very well already right? haha 

farah- the innocent

my younger sister. She is the most chubby haha i like to tease her back when i was still a kid. She’s very good in memorising things up, like the name of the road, our relatives birthday, the name of the current minister ;p She loves to read novel too( i guess there were hundreds of them hidden below her bed) she's a very straight forward person and low profile.

last but not least, the youngest in my family, is the special non-identical twin ;)

nina- the cutest
neni- the most charming 

Nina- my youngest sister. Very skinny, average height (167 cm). She is the strongest of all. She had to struggle fighting off leukemia, and never give up. She’s very good playing chess( up to national level), a trait that inherited from me o_0 she’s very good in handling money, and love to make up, and try on new shawl fashion. She is so afraid of dark, thunder, cockroaches etc and sleeps with my mom hahaha

Neni- my youngest brother. Tall, very thin. He lives with my grandma which located about 500 metres away from my house lol love to play basketball, another trait inherited from me 0_o he is a good singer, and has a very loud voice as if he had loudspeaker on when he speak up hehe he's also very hardworking, especially when u offer cash as rewards haha

well that's all my family members, excluding my parents that i'll make another entry just for them ;) well living with 10 people at the same house may sound crazy, like had to take turn for shower, fighting regarding which tv channel to watch and share foods when lunch and dinner, usually the last person to eat will get the little leftovers ;p but this is what define us. we will always, against all odd, have trust with one another and make sure the bond exists between us will get stronger and stronger from time to time until the last moment of breath.

‘Stupid!’

A 6-letters word I wish i can take back. it had been already said, well heard with a sharp and loud intonation to express my rage, but i dont know if i am relieved or feel guilty. it just bursting out from my slap-deserved mouth, like a quick feedback to warn people im about to explode. Mocking me like a childish naive person who dont know anything, dont you know that it was hurtful?


I know that i shouldn’t interfered in ur business at the first place. U always say u can manage it but eventually, u will failed. The way u’re thinking was like a same linear pattern. It was just a matter of time that u will realize it. But im afraid it might be too late so i guess maybe i can help, eventhough u keep turning me down. My intention was pure, i wanted to help. Is it too much to accept that sometimes we do need help, that we are not perfect? Am i being so freaking annoying, but whatever it is, we r still related.


I keep my eyes on, observing the subtle changes from your body languages, facial impressions and moods. I can tell everytime i tried to open my mouth, u will shut it off right away. I have right to speak, to channel any problem solving method that i know of. But as expected, my opinion doesnt matter. U tend to change the subject when im trying really hard to participate.


Plan your work, and work your plan. Any problem can be tackle using this phrase. However, u tend to give up even u haven’t started it yet. And u have this belief, that u will say to urself ‘dont worry, everything’s gonna be fine’. No it is not. Be rational. Just because u got luck in the past doesnt mean u gonna get it this time.


Cant u see it? R u halfly blinded? U will never go anywhere if the attitude persist. U will still be there. Even worse u might go backwards. Is that what u want?


There are a lot, inside of me, which i am not proud of. U’ve known me very well, put in trust that i can change. I really appreciate it coz whenever i feel down i know which shoulder i can lie on. But why r u betraying urself, as if u didnt know that i’ll be at ur side no matter what? Do u think that i am not strong enought to back u up whenever u encounter hardtime? Or i will make fun of u when u cant solve a problem?


I am a big boy now, or a better label, a man. I can stand at my own feet, despite a kid personality exteriorly, try me. Put me in desert, throw me in ocean, send me to northpole, i’ll give u my word, that i’ll survive regardless. I am tough, i am a warrior, a fighter. Stop treating me like a schoolboy, that i need to be spoonfeed almost everything.


i have to do something. This must not go on. Or else i might lose u. That was the last thing i can think of. Everytime i am mad at u, i will reminisce the old sweet memory u equipped me with. Hating u is so impossible, because the bond existed was too strong. I can affirm u’ll always have a space inside my heart, at least.


Sorry seems to be the hardest word. I guess that is truth. Especially when u dont think its ur fault. That somebody elses were to be blame. But u have to make it right this time. Learn to let thing go and gain self-respect. forgive urself for whatever flaw u made and only then, u can start learn to say ‘I AM SORRY’ to others.

Anger and solution

The whole week my heart was full of hatred and anger. I easily lost temper on small ocassion as if it was a tragedy ( althought it sounds typical me) lol triggering factor that ignite the light will be that fine looking police konstabel which heart doesnt resemble his face much. He is so discipline doing his job, never consider people problem, and lack of empathy. Yeahh he is not a doctor after all ;p

And that is how RM150 fly freely out of the wallet, screaming high-pitched Mariah Carey whistling voice sounds ‘have a nice dayyyy’ zzzz well I try to reach it by i couldnt. It has flown too high. And then it dissapear, gone with the wind. Then i wake up. i take a deep rapid breathing. Similar to kussmaul breathing except there were no accessory muscle retraction involvement. I feel angry that myself try to deceive me, eventhough it was just a cynical dream. i really need to punch somebody faces right now, then make a Japanese slap, followed by muay Thai kick and finish with a French kiss :3

To make it worse, im broke. Two weeks holiday sounds heaven to any medical student since our body need to relax and indulge too, get away from any medical stuffs. I was thinking, Bali will be a great destination. I have heard there are so many beautiful places u can visit, like 10 sheets of pampheletes about LUXURIOUS hotels u can stay on plus so many EXPENSIVE water sports u can try up. DAMN IT . Why was anything enjoyful in this world need money?? Jessie J “Pricetag” song should have been abolished for this reason lol On the bright side there are rumors spreading that a lot of people lose virginity there, for FREE!! Ok ok readers age 21 and below can click red X button now. This entry has a lot of sexual material waiting ahead. So go now. I mean it, NOW!! SEKARANG!! 现!! अब!! Nunc!! duhh the last one may not be necesscary coz ur traffic statistic clearly shows that the viewers confine towards Peninsular Malaysia lol

Aarghh i really need to shake this stress away. Or maybe throw the anger out. Or kick the fun in. Or put happy face on. Sounds redundant but im using deodarant. not funny but hilarious. Not irritating but annoying. Ok Stop it stup id.
In short, the only solution is to take a vacation, bungy jumping or Las Vegas ;D Obviously i cant afford any of it at the moment, so i came up with this idea. A classic reverse psychology. This is how it works, there’s a tiny space at the corner of my mind will automatically control my perception so that i believe certain things, regardless the truth. Like when seeing people going someplace, i’ll think “owhh maybe they are visitting their old grandpa who is sick”. When people buy new things, “owhh maybe they didnt buy it on cash”. when they get married, “owhh maybe because they’re having a child out of wedlock” ;) And when i find out any fellow rides the same boat , specifically didnt go anywhere coz financially incapable, im going to mock them, insult them, make status on fbook about how miserable their life is until they committed social suicide o_0

As i write this i feel a bit calm, steady. Maybe the last idea somehow give me hope ;) well i find a conclusion which was one of my favourite line. It says; u may be a painter but im the Painting, u can be a singer but i’m the Song, u are a poetry but i’m the Poem and the line is at the same tangent when i said im a psychiatrist ;)

GHOST DAY

Its not halloween, and it was like 2 weeks from the last time i saw a horror movie, but i feel haunted by a creature, i’ll say a demon, who is super gorgeous, can’t read my mind, that my smell arouse him... err him? GROSS! Damn u Stephanie Meyer. U should’ve wrote another version of masterpiece where the villain is a girl. Now in a way i am confused with my sexual orientation. Juz kidding of coz la im straight grrr (note: homo people will never admit their status ) 0_o

As u can see on top is the title. A smart person will think it’s the day that i encountered ghost. Or the famous ‘trick or treat’day that i being forced to wear fancy costumes and undress/stripping while dancing near the pole. Ok not funny haha But a smarter person will doubt it as the ghost themselves will think twice before showing up (not because i’ve a good foundation of religious weapon) but vice versa lol “How could a human being more evil than we are?”, murmured ghost A.” Maybe bcoz we are new at this, see we just got headshots while robbing 3 days ago”, whispered ghost B. “Enoughh!!!” said ghost C while continuing writing.

Back to the title, it’s called ghost day because clearly a ghost at its nature haunted people. It’s pretty pathetic if a ghost incapable of petrifying people up ;) so these are the 3 “special day” i’ll never forget for the rest of my life coz it haunted me ghostless( exclude when im getting old, i might have dementia, and when i pray, coz i tend to put all things aside) ;D

The first one is THE DAY I LOSE VIRGINity, ok scratch the last word out, it’s PPM BASKETBALL. I wanted to win so much i GPS the place where the national level took place every day after practice. This is before our team didnt make it to national. Ok i may sound exagerrate a bit, but it’s a healthy way of enlighten people, our local politicians does that ocassionally lol i’ve been HAUNTED eversince.

Next is THE DAY I GET JPA SCHOLARSHIP. Sounds flawless huh? Yeah maybe bcoz i intentionally left the word “didn’t” prior to the word get. Which means that apparently im not entitled. Or i’ve been rejected. That someone else got that offer. Please, go scream ur name spelled backward loudly if u still dont understand - _- I was so confident being accepted as a small ambassador of my country, to pursue studying in a land where people dont feel so excited when snow falls down ;( i’ve literally throw away every offer letter from Matriculation, SPA, private college, even IMG 0_o I’ve been HAUNTED eversince.

The last one occurred recently, precisely 6 months ago. It was THE DAY I FAILED PROCEED YEAR. Slap ur face twice if u expecting any errors from the capital words lol . I cant sleep, loss my appetite despite gaining weight, cant talk French well and couldnt concentrate on trigonometry. Neglect the two latter parts, that were my subconscious projections of being a French Mathematical analyst. and i’ve been HAUNTED eversince.

The way i see it, all of the incidents come unexpectedly. Maybe i was too confident of achieving my goal, and expecting too much from it. As a result i had severe breakdown and unable to erase it out of my system. Screw that. Even the marriage of Shannon Doherty and Ashley Hamilton lasts less than 6 months. Needless to say, there is no happy ending at all . BUT ever heard of $100 million Amy Irving’s settlement from Steven Spielberg after their 34-month marriage ended?? There is a spark, after all.

INTRO

I finally realizes that writing can be fun. Not kind like ‘beach party fun’ or making fun of people like teasing their surname which was like so 2000, but it’s because i find serenity, i feel like we can throw it all out without have to face consequences. Unless you are trying to write pornography related, or persuade people to join illegal gang like KL GANGSTERS, there is no way google terminated ur account without asking consent. u can sue them if they do, obviously u’re a moron coz it’s their website, they have right to ward u off sekati mak bapak die arr 0_o

Writing is definitely not my passion but i find it is addictive to critic people, a constructive one, more like how people sees it. U can yell at me, hacked my accounts, i dont give a damn. Do whatever satisfiable, or at least, have fun doing it. Ok i was joking. Dont hack my account please coz it takes like 2 episodes of glee just to choose my headline zzzz

From the time being there is nothing i wanna talk about. Some of u might ask, why start blogging out of the blues? Why dont go modelling and do fashion runway in Milan as u used to. Or take Selena gomez to a nice Italian restaurant while people staring at her, portraying jealousy of what a fine man she had left bieber for ok ok stop it ady . Well give a pleasant applause to urself( trust me i can hear the sounds u clapping lol) well i dont have answer for that. Maybe i am an attention seeker after witnesses some celebrity born out of the blogger world, or i want people to know me and everytime when i do the laundry and lost my receipt, they know which one is my comforter. Err is there any difference in both circumstances? U go figure lol