Anger and solution

The whole week my heart was full of hatred and anger. I easily lost temper on small ocassion as if it was a tragedy ( althought it sounds typical me) lol triggering factor that ignite the light will be that fine looking police konstabel which heart doesnt resemble his face much. He is so discipline doing his job, never consider people problem, and lack of empathy. Yeahh he is not a doctor after all ;p

And that is how RM150 fly freely out of the wallet, screaming high-pitched Mariah Carey whistling voice sounds ‘have a nice dayyyy’ zzzz well I try to reach it by i couldnt. It has flown too high. And then it dissapear, gone with the wind. Then i wake up. i take a deep rapid breathing. Similar to kussmaul breathing except there were no accessory muscle retraction involvement. I feel angry that myself try to deceive me, eventhough it was just a cynical dream. i really need to punch somebody faces right now, then make a Japanese slap, followed by muay Thai kick and finish with a French kiss :3

To make it worse, im broke. Two weeks holiday sounds heaven to any medical student since our body need to relax and indulge too, get away from any medical stuffs. I was thinking, Bali will be a great destination. I have heard there are so many beautiful places u can visit, like 10 sheets of pampheletes about LUXURIOUS hotels u can stay on plus so many EXPENSIVE water sports u can try up. DAMN IT . Why was anything enjoyful in this world need money?? Jessie J “Pricetag” song should have been abolished for this reason lol On the bright side there are rumors spreading that a lot of people lose virginity there, for FREE!! Ok ok readers age 21 and below can click red X button now. This entry has a lot of sexual material waiting ahead. So go now. I mean it, NOW!! SEKARANG!! 现!! अब!! Nunc!! duhh the last one may not be necesscary coz ur traffic statistic clearly shows that the viewers confine towards Peninsular Malaysia lol

Aarghh i really need to shake this stress away. Or maybe throw the anger out. Or kick the fun in. Or put happy face on. Sounds redundant but im using deodarant. not funny but hilarious. Not irritating but annoying. Ok Stop it stup id.
In short, the only solution is to take a vacation, bungy jumping or Las Vegas ;D Obviously i cant afford any of it at the moment, so i came up with this idea. A classic reverse psychology. This is how it works, there’s a tiny space at the corner of my mind will automatically control my perception so that i believe certain things, regardless the truth. Like when seeing people going someplace, i’ll think “owhh maybe they are visitting their old grandpa who is sick”. When people buy new things, “owhh maybe they didnt buy it on cash”. when they get married, “owhh maybe because they’re having a child out of wedlock” ;) And when i find out any fellow rides the same boat , specifically didnt go anywhere coz financially incapable, im going to mock them, insult them, make status on fbook about how miserable their life is until they committed social suicide o_0

As i write this i feel a bit calm, steady. Maybe the last idea somehow give me hope ;) well i find a conclusion which was one of my favourite line. It says; u may be a painter but im the Painting, u can be a singer but i’m the Song, u are a poetry but i’m the Poem and the line is at the same tangent when i said im a psychiatrist ;)